My Despised Soul Mate
by chevere
Summary: AU. InuKag. A tale concerning true love and high adventure about a girl who found her soul mate, only to discover that soul mate-ism is a highly overrated quality. Rating due to language, angst and bad author jokes
1. Unexpected Spark, Long Expected Death

My Despised Soul Mate 

**Summary: **A tale concerning true love and high adventure about a girl who found her soul mate, only to discover that soul mate-ism is a highly overrated quality. 

**Rating:** PG-13 for language, angst and bad author jokes. 

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything in this story. I don't get any money for writing this. Honest. You can try and sue me… and if you find anything of value that belongs to me… can we split?

**Pairing:** Inuyasha and Kagome.

**A/N:** I actually changed the way I'm going to put quotations. 

"This is speech"

'_This is thought'_

* * * This is a break

~*~*~ _This is a jump in the time sequence_ ~*~*~

_"In truth, the term 'Soul mate' describes two or more persons whose spirit pulsation have the same vibration."_

_-Jorge Raul Olguín._

**Chapter 1:** Unexpected Spark, Long Expected Death.

The first time Kagome cast her eyes upon Inuyasha she swore her heart had given a beat or two more than it should. The small, familiar atmosphere somehow oddly perturbed by his presence. 

Kagome had come to several reunions like this before. They were familiar reunions, or the next best thing. The four families had come from Japan in slightly the same interval of time and had sent their younger children to the same school. The kids had been friends since the first day of school and the parents since the first morning after seeing their children off in the school playground. Ever since that moment, as stranded as they were to their own families, they had become each other's family. Thus, holding gatherings as often as they could to keep the use of their mother tongue alive in a world dominated by English.

"Hi dear, how have you been?" had smiled Mrs. Yaegashi just before they entered the living room. "You can stay with us today or go downstairs with the children, it's your choice." She told her gently. Mrs. Yaegashi was a friend of her mother. She had long black hair and a permanent wicked smile on her face. Her wrists were constantly full of twinkling chains and her clothes were always of a loud color such as yellow or red. This day was no exception, thought Kagome, as she cast a quick glance at the all-orange outfit the slim older woman wore. 

Mrs. Yaegashi paced back to the living room, dragging Kagome with her before the other could reply. Kagome then shoot a glance at all the recognizable faces when her eyes set the sight of the hanyou. Funny. She was pretty sure she had met all members of all four families. This had to be a new acquisition to the growing happy family, she thought sarcastically. Her heart was racing ahead of the normal rate for a moment and she could swear his ears had flipped in her general direction, though his gaze was rather fixed in her parents as he introduced himself. Kagome had tried to listen to the exchange unsuccessfully, for she had been active greeting everyone in the room.

Souta and Shippou ran downstairs, with the rest of the children. Usually, Kagome would go with them, play with them and joke with them, regardless of the age gap. Children generally looked upon Kagome as an older sister and fellow conspirator: mature enough to guide and young enough to trust. But this time it was different. This time he was there, a stranger. His golden eyes, white locks and adorable puppy ears mesmerizing her. Luring her into staying in that room so she could figure out whom he was.

She decided to sit down on the low couch of the living room and pretended she was immersing in the conversation the men were having on politics. Usually, she would participate, having a smart remark to make. Not this time, though. Somehow this stranger made her brain melt into cheese. '_Hm, melted cheese… that tastes good'._ She shook her head. There would be no brilliant quotes to take from her today. 

His eyes found her and she acknowledged him with a small graceful movement of her head. It had been the perfect mature response if it wasn't for the burning of her cheeks and the sudden tremble of her body. It was this tremble that made her spill the tea Mrs. Yaegashi was handing her. She let out a loud gasp and stood up. The chatter suddenly stopped and she found herself doing a very good impression of a tomato.

"Oh, dear… are you alright?" Mrs. Yaegashi asked. 

"Yes" she grumbled. 

"Well, let's get you dry and clean honey" Mrs. Yaegashi said, taking her arm in her 'no nonsense' manner and dragged her out of the room and towards the bathroom. 

When she was finally dry (or mostly dry) she and Mrs. Yaegashi returned to the living room where Mrs. Daidouji, another friend of her mother, was pouring the tea (or rather, more tea) while talking to the young stranger. And by the way he replied, Kagome guessed he would be around 24 or 26 years old. He seemed to be mature. She shuddered at the thought. She was 20 years old but she felt like a girl still. 

"Inuyasha," said Mrs. Daidouji "I heard from your aunt here…" she waved her hand towards Mrs. Yaegashi. "…You had quite a nice time Wednesday at the concert!" 

"It was progressive symphonic metal. It was a pretty entertaining evening." He answered politely, taking a sip of his tea. 'Progressive _what_?' Thought Kagome bewildered. 

"Oh, but I meant the classical concert!" replied Mrs. Daidouji, smiling and shaking her dark brown hair. 

"That was Tuesday." He corrected her. "It was so awesome. I didn't pay anything! They just saw my face and figured I was a student. I had a great time." His eyes turning to that huge glassy color everyone gets while talking about something they feel deeply about. _He sounds like a music junkie, _thought Kagome amused. 

A rumbling noise interrupted her psychoanalysis, however, and she realized in horror she had not eaten during the whole day. Her stomach was demanding her lack of attention. She had quite forgotten with all the homework she had done for neurosciences. Not that psychology was a bad career; it was just… evil at the time of asking for homework. 

Slowly, she rose from her seat and walked towards the kitchen in order to help serving the food (and steal a few bites). Somehow it was hard for her to keep her pulse steady under Inuyasha's gaze.

"Kagome!" cried Shippou, "Are you coming downstairs? Touya is showing us his computer games!"

"Das ghine I mwil gho dawn inashec" replied Kagome (translation of the official mouthful-English dictionary: That's fine, I will go down in a sec.)

"They have 'the lord of the rings: the return of the king'" Souta's voice could be heard from downstairs. Taunting her. Brothers are evil. Especially little brothers. Some day, when she was a famous psychologist she would write a book about how evil little brothers really are. 

After taking a sip of coke, Kagome went downstairs for two hours of pure delight with the children. Ok, so she couldn't stay away from them for a long time. She liked children. Besides, she was the absolute champion when it came to play that particular game. Especially with Legolas. Especially with the double arrow-shoot you get after Legolas achieves level 10. Double arrow shooting was so much fun! 

After a while of playing the team-mode version of the game, they decided it was time for Tekken 4. The boys turned off the computer and went to the playstation 2. Kagome decided she would go back upstairs, not without smiling at the boy's enthusiasm and assuring Shippou she would be back in a short while. She made it for the stairs as she listened faintly to the TV set make all sort of fighting noises accompanied by a sudden "chicken!" The boys squealed in delight and she could make out Shippou's voice saying:

"Eat the Chicken! Chicken very good!" 

As she stepped up she distinguished her mothers voice. The room was oddly quiet, only the soft murmur of her mother's voice could be heard, and as Kagome stepped closer she understood why. Her mother's eyes were darkened by a shadow of sorrow as she spoke of Shippou's arrival to the family. She was explaining it to Inuyasha. 

Shippou was not really a member of the family. At least, not a real relative. Kagome's mother had worked in an "early childhood matters" program before moving to England. The boy had been alone. Both his parents had died and the community had taken care of him. They had asked Kagome's mother to adopt him for surely social services would take the little boy to an adoption center. He was far too expensive to keep for this poverty-doomed people. Kagome could remember it. She had been there with her mother when Shippou buried himself in Kagome's chest, begging her to be his mother.  It had not been any problem for her to feel an almost immediate maternal love for this cute and fuzzy little youkai.

Kagome sat once again among the "adults" while the dull conversation was filling the air. Her eyes were focused on Inuyasha. She could not understand that tingly feeling she had when she saw him or heard him speak. It was confusing. She didn't like confusing. She liked simple. Simple things. Did she like this Inuyasha guy? Oh, yeah. How could that be if she had not even talked to him yet? Confusing. Not good. She already had a boyfriend, for crying out loud! 

Finally, it was time to leave. She had not figured anything out of the stranger. Was he coming to visit? Was he staying in London? She didn't know. How old was he? Was he married? Did he work? Study? All the questions she could not ask him were crowding in Kagome's head and before she could realize it, she had remained behind with only Inuyasha in the living room. 

She was even more stunned when she heard herself say the words: "Hi, I'm Kagome! We were not formally introduced." And she extended her hand at him. 

"Inuyasha." He said briefly while shaking her hand. 

"So… um… are you staying here? Or just visiting?"

"Staying for a couple of months. English course."

"Oh." Came the smart reply. "And… er… how old are you?"

"20, and you?"

"I am 20 years old too."

"I bet you thought I was older." He said with a wicked grin that reminded her of his aunt.

"No, not really." She lied. 

~*~*~ _Jump in the time sequence_ ~*~*~

_It was dark. The streetlamps glowed all around her. The snow was slowly making its way down. The streets were lonely and she could only hear the soft impact of her running shoes on the pavement. Running. Fast. _

It was cold. The wind started to blow harder. The snowflakes began to pierce her skin like tiny needles. The thumping of her heart was stronger now. She ignored it. The aching of her heart was almost impossible to bear. She ignored that too. She could not take it anymore. Her father telling her she was a waste. She could not stand it. She knew it was true. She could not deal with the truth.

_She crossed the street almost without looking at the cars that were coming. There was a loud screech as one of the cars almost collapses against her. The driver cursed. She paid no heed and kept running. To the river, her safe haven. She jumped the small wall that separated the road from the bank of the river. It was a hollow place and the wall, although quite small on the side of the street, was as tall as her whole body standing upright on the shore side. _

_She put her back to the wall. Sanctuary. She let the hot tears finally escape her eyes. Her long locks of hair had found a way out of the hairclip and now covered her face like a thick black curtain. Her hands covered her eyes. Her shoulders were shaking. Her knees slowly bending under the weight of so much emotional pressure. Her heart was heavy with grief._

~*~*~ _Jump in the time sequence_ ~*~*~

She was absolutely beautiful. Kagome was. He had been there bored as hell when she walked in and unconsciously smiled at him. Her black hair cascading into her face. She continued looking at him sideways and he flipped his ears in order to catch the rich sound of her voice as she greeted everyone. 

If Inuyasha had been given half a chance he would have talked to her. There had been no such luck so when everyone started to stand up and say her slacking behind, he knew he had but to remain there. She had been looking at him all night. He was but astonished when she turned to him and started that silly conversation. She was hesitating. She was blushing. She looked even more beautiful when she was blushing. 

"Well… since you're new in town… perhaps I can show you around sometime" she said.

"That would be great" he replied gladly "where do you live?"

"Um… that is a little complicated."

"Phone number? Never mind, I bet my aunt has it somewhere!"

"Hmh" she nodded vigorously, then looked at the door and then chirped "It was nice meeting you, Inuyasha" flashing a smile before turning around and departing along with her family. Inuyasha could just stare after her dazzled and puzzled by that warm feeling he felt in his chest.

_'Gentlemen, prepare your dingoes, the hunt is about to begin'_, thought Inuyasha as he looked at the retreating figure of Kagome.

~*~*~ _Jump in the time sequence_ ~*~*~

The girl opened the packet and wrinkled her nose. The foul odor of the poisonous patches almost making her forget about what she was going to do and go back to… where? 

Why was she doing this? Because it hurt. Life hurt. Life hurt too much. Living her life without being useful to anyone around her. Anyone but him… but he would not need her for too long, she reminded herself. He would be happy without her. He would be happier without her. If she stayed… if she stayed he would sooner or later see her for what she was: a disgrace. A burden. A nobody. He would leave. He would despise her. If she left now… at least he would remember her as something beautiful. At least she would take their love to a place where it would not shatter. 

_She had had so many opportunities of being together. Maybe in her heart she did want to be a failure? Everything other people dreamed of having, she had. She did not want to have it. She could have been given less 'blessings' and be happy, but somehow, all the blessings in the world were for her and she felt… guilty for not wanting it. Cursed for having it. She had to make up for the hopes and dreams of so many others! She had to use the opportunities although she did not wish to have them or did not deserve them. But she had failed. She had the responsibility of living the life so many others wished and deserved… but she had failed._

_Two silent tears rolled down her cheeks. She had wanted to do so many things, but she would never be able to. No matter how much she painted, the cursed images of new pieces would not stop haunting her. No matter how much she tried, she would never be as responsible, mature and caring as she should be. She would never be who she wanted to be. Everyone else had grown, everyone else was in the way of being someone, being part of the society… and she was lacking behind, dreaming of adventures, magic and chances of living in a different world that would never come. Not for her. Not in this life. Curse her life! She had wanted to have his children! But if she stayed… it would not matter if she stayed because they would never have a happy ending. Happy endings didn't exist._

_It was better this way, she thought as she put the patches on her arms, her hips… her abdomen. A feeling of suction almost imperceptible. She had not much time now. The venom would take her and she did not know how much time was left for her. She scribbled down several notes to the most important persons in her life. Most of them saying, "It's not your fault. It is mine, don't blame yourself for this." She wrote a long note to him. _

_She took her best clothes in a hurry. Put them on. Combed her hair. Put on makeup. Maybe it would make the shock of her parents less if they found her looking better. She did not wish them to find her with bluish lips, looking like a devil sick of sin. No. They would think she was asleep. An angel. The way they wanted to see her and had not been able to because of her stupidity. _

_She brushed her teeth. She would die clean, no matter how much the rotten patches reeked. She went to bed then. She was tired. The poison was making her tired. She was cold and hot at the same time. It felt like fever. Thick sweat drops were forming on her forehead. She felt faint. And dizzy. Most of all tired, so very tired. She stumbled to her bed. The venom was making her coordination almost impossible. Sank under the covers. She felt cold, very cold. _

_She thought of him. She closed her eyes. They did not need to find her eyes open, which would be too gross. She felt the need to throw up. She held on. She was not going to make them clean all her mess. She heard the pounding of her heart and wondered how long would it take for it to stop? She dared not think about it. Instead she focused in her thoughts of him. Would he ever forgive her? She had wanted so much to live with him… be with him… perhaps there was still a chance? _

_He would be broken hearted. She could not take it when he was broken hearted. She would do anything… he… he would be fine… but what if he wasn't? What if he never recovered? No! She didn't want him to feel hurt! She had to try! She had to live! She had to… take these damn things off of her! _

_She tried to move her hand. She had not enough strength. Tried again, more desperately. Her hand was numb and cold. No! She could not leave him! She would not! Tried again. And again. And again. And… she threw up. She could smell the stench of tuna. The only meal she had that day. And blood. There was blood in her stomach. She could taste it in her mouth. She tried moving her arm, but it would not obey. Slowly, she gave up. She gave in to the numbness that was spreading through her body. She had tried. For him._

_'Inuyasha…'_

~*~*~ _Jump in the time sequence_ ~*~*~__

The family reunion had ended at half past midnight, but of course, Kagome didn't realize this until it was a quarter to one and she had arrived home with her family and the phone was ringing. It was then that Kagome allowed herself to grumble some selected swearwords and ran madly towards the phone. It was Kouga. 

Kouga and Kagome seemed to have been together since the beginning of time, and in fact it was the truth. Or mostly true, in any case. They knew each other since puberty. They had met because Kagome's friend of a friend was the cousin of a friend of Kouga's sister. All very simple. It was love at first sight, or at least, it was for Kouga. He dedicated all his time after they met trying to make her understand she was _his_. She would _always_ be _his_. 

At first, Kagome had been reluctant to all the attention he would give her ("I am _not_ your woman!"). But then again, they became best friends: The kind of best friends who could always rely on one another, the kind of friends who knew everything about each other. The kind of friends who told everything to one another: every secret, every mischief. They were merely friends until one day; all the pampering made Kagome realize she was not going to get anything better than that. 

She was growing old and had not had yet a memorable passion, a once in a lifetime, or a love at first sight. It was then that she threw out all her hopes of ever finding that recurring dream of a knight in shinny armor galloping off with her in his shinny black steed. She resigned to the "happily ever after" stories and was quite content with being with someone who cared as much as Kouga did. It was a simple plan. He would try to make her happy always (although she would never be satisfied), they would marry, have fat little baby Kougas and care deeply for each other until the end of their lives. Care. Not love. But it was good enough and simple enough. And Kagome liked simple. Simple was good, Kagome thought as she reached for the phone. The unwanted memory of those golden orbs was still burning her cheeks. 

"Hello?" She said, in spite that she knew whom it would be calling at one in the morning.

"Hi, my woman!" he liked calling her that. Kouga did. 'My woman', 'My girl' he would say sometimes. "Princess" he would call her on special occasions. 

"Hi… how have you been?" She said, somehow stiffer than before. Cute fluffy ears popping into her mind. Making her feel dirty. She _liked_ another guy. No. She didn't. He was just an interesting subject of study. That was all. 

"Fine. We had a long day of study, the pack and I." He replied cheerfully. Obviously ignoring Kagome's internal crisis. He was smart. He could smell trouble in a hundred yards. Kagome just _knew_ he could sense the burning of her cheeks by now. 

"Microbiology is sickening. I've hardly got time to sleep nowadays." He carried on.

"Well, that's awful. You should get more sleep! Maybe you should go to sleep at once!" Cried Kagome. In fact, she was just tired. It had been a long day and she wanted to end the conversation before Kouga could take any information from her. If they talked long enough, she knew she would eventually talk all about the white-haired guy. Not a good idea. 

"It's not late here in Chiapas and I want to talk to the most beautiful woman in the world." Replied Kouga sweetly. Chiapas. That's where Kouga was. Chiapas, Mexico. He had said something about having more medical experience if he studied some months in Latin America and ran off three months ago. The coward. Leaving Kagome alone, with a promise to be faithful and talk to him every night at 10pm. Now that she remembered, she owed him an apology.

"Kouga-chan, I'm sorry for not being here at 10. I was with my parents and I-"

"Don't worry about that, princess." He said, and by then she realized he had something very important to tell her. "I would have kept on dialing your number until you'd pick up. You know I'm _that _stubborn" he purred. 

"Is it really that important?"

"What?"

"What you are about to tell me." She said, rolling the phone cable in her finger.

"Yes. I've made a decision and I just wanted you to kno-"

"Kouga-chan?"

"Yes, Kagome-chan?" At this point Kagome froze. Everything froze. Even hell froze. There was something in his tome that said he really had something _very_ important to tell her.

It took the poor girl some time to gather her wits before asking her boyfriend "If it is all that important… could you… could you tell me when you come back from India?" He would be back in a month, Kagome reminded herself.  

"Mexico." Kouga corrected her. 

"Yes. Mexico. What did I say?"

"India."

"Man, not even close."

Kouga chuckled softly. Kagome felt a pang in her stomach. Was it too wrong to like someone else? Kagome felt some sort of loyalty towards Kouga. After so much time, Kouga had been her first and only boyfriend until now. And he liked her. Scratch that, he _loved_ her. He was really the incarnation of the perfect boyfriend. He always brought her flowers. Always wrote a little poem or two in their anniversary. Was scantly jealous (ok. Ok, he was, but he tried his best not to be, for her sake,) and never forgot any important dates. They had spent so much together. She had grown to love him. Not really a man-woman love, more of a sibling's love. But that was enough. It was simple enough.

* * *

Kouga smiled to himself, caressing the black box in his pocket. He was glad. He was always glad when he spoke to Kagome. She soothed him. But then came that horrible sound. He squirmed uncomfortably as his neighbor turned his music player on at all volume. Molotov's hit single making the walls tremble. You did not have to be a full-blooded youkai to be annoyed by the loud music… 

"Yo ya estoy hasta la madre / de que me pongan sombrero / escucha entonces cuando digo / no me llames frijolero…"

"What's that?" asked Kagome at the other side of the phone. 

"Be right back." Kouga grunted into the receiver before running out of his small 'apartment' which in reality resembled a room. He walked fast to the next door. Tried to open. Locked. Banged the door. No response. The door crashed into the floor. 

"FERNANDO!" he roared, "I'm on the phone, coño! It's important! Turn the damn thing off!" The curly haired man slowly, very slowly nodded and walked towards the music player.

"Don't call me gringo you fucking beaner / stay on your side of the God da- click!"

"Gracias." Said Kouga before turning back to his room. He picked the phone back up. He heard her yawn. She was cute when she yawned. "Is my woman tired?" he said playfully. 

"Just a little. What was that?" She sounded stiff. Again. Kouga shrugged. It was surely nothing; she would have told him if it was. 

"Neighbor." He explained shortly. 

"Look. I'm starting to have a headache… and it's late. Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Sure." His disappointment filtering through his voice, but Kagome didn't seem to notice.

"Ok, take care, bye!"

"Bye, I love-"

"Click! Beep beep beep beep…"

Ok. Now that was weird. Kagome just didn't hang up like that. Without saying "I love you". She never did. Usually they spent more time saying their good-byes than in anything else. Something was wrong. He diligently dialed up again.

"Yes?" Kagome. She knew it was he.

"Is there anything wrong?" he asked. Fearing. He feared the answer. The long pause that followed didn't exactly ease his nerves either. 

"No." She lied. He knew now. It hurt. She never lied to him. She was lying to him now, though. "Goodbye, Kouga." She said. Double ouch! Not Kouga-chan. Not even Kouga-kun. Mere and simple 'Kouga'. That had to hurt.

"Kagome-chan?"

"Yes?" 

"If anything happens… you would tell me, right?" His voice sounded now like a child scared of the darkness. Another pause.

"Of course, I love you." She said. Truthfully now. "Kouga…?"

"Yes, princess?" 

Pause.

"Nothing, I will tell you tomorrow. Bye!" She chirped. Darn. She sounded cute when she chirped. 

"Bye, I love you."

"Luv you too! –Click!"

Kouga hanged up. This was weird. He felt sad. And scared. He never felt sad and scared after talking to Kagome. He took the black box out of his pocket. He'd been fidgeting it the whole time. Would Kagome like a compromise like that? He shook his head. She'd love it. After all, she was _his_ woman. A goofy smile played on his face. 

* * *

Inuyasha lay wide-awake in his room. What time was it? Six in the morning now. He had not been able to sleep. He could not take away the picture of that perfect creature he had only just met away from his mind. It had been just electricity. Simple, mere, brute attraction, it was. Somehow she seemed full of live. Full of love. It would be nice to have a friend now. Not that he needed one, but it would be nice. Not to feel rejected and alone. Like always.

He had been loved before. It had all come crashing down at the end. But he understood that was the natural order of things. Good things are never meant to last. He had loved before. He had not been able to stand the feeling of loss. That was why he had traveled, really. To escape. It had been impossible to escape from love. The loss of love. Knowing she may have never loved him… _'Kikyou'_… only a whisper now. Some unknown warmth was comforting him for the first in a long time. Making his loss bearable and he knew. He just knew it had to be Kagome. She had an aura of warmth and relaxation. She smelled of fresh red roses. Sweet and almost intoxicating.

He felt a pang of guilt cross throughout his body. He shouldn't be thinking of another woman. Not ever again. He had promised to love her forever… but she… she had deserted him, hadn't she? Left him to rot. To die every day without her love. She had not cared. The only love he knew. Now that he came to think of it. Kagome resembled Kikyou. Was that the reason why he felt attracted to this new girl? He had only known her for less than a day. Less than half a day, even. Somehow he knew it wasn't the looks. This girl, Kagome, was nothing like Kikyou. She had too much life in her. Too much innocence and childish mischief in her eyes. Kikyou had never had any of those. 

_You left me, Kikyou, you promised you wouldn't but you left me_; he thought bitterly.

* * *

Far away, in another corner of the world, evil stirred… 

* * *

A/N: This is it. Please, please review! And please help me with spelling and grammar. English is not my first language and I kind of struggle to write these. I must add, my Japanese is non-existent, so I was just playing around with the little things I know. I'm not sure if I got it right, though. I hope you can help me there too. 

Last minute information: I am having trouble uploading the document. **frowns** it keeps uploading it with these annoying horizontal lines… so I had to put more explicitly the "~*~*~ _Jump in the time sequence_ ~*~*~" originally it was just "~*~*~" I guess I'll post it like this today and later on I'll replace it with the format I intended to give it originally. Sorry about that.


	2. Candle in the wind

My Despised Soul Mate 

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything in this story. Except maybe the plot… I don't get any money for writing this. Please don't sue! If you like my original character you're free to borrow them if you tell me beforehand.

**Pairing:** Inuyasha and Kagome.

**A/N:** sooo sorry for the delay! See I am writing another story for HP and I was trying to write a chapter there because I feel really guilty starting a new project without ending the last one, but I've got this awful writer's block! And I decided that since I can't seem to write a nice chapter there, I'll just give you what you want here without feeling guilty denying you another chapter! Hum… yeah…  that. **Blushes madly** Sorry!

By the way, thank you all so much for your reviews! I was really glad for the responses I got! Really! ^_^ You are wonderful!

"This is speech"

'_This is thought'_

* * * This is a break

~*~*~ _This is a jump in the time sequence_ ~*~*~

_"…The existence of a soul mate is something that has nothing to do with gender. Most of us think that it has something to do with love and sexual attraction of two beings. Which is, of course, a lie…"_

_-Jorge Raul Olguín._

**Chapter 2:** Like a candle in the wind.

"…And then, she banged her head against the glass shouting 'electric guitar!' and I swear I never laughed so much in my entire life!" Kagome chuckled. She looked at him. "If you want you can come to my college sometime and meet everybody. I take it you must feel lonely, away from everyone you know."

"Feh."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Feh means feh!"

They were walking through a particularly crowded street. It was just a day after they had met each other and they were already quarreling like two childhood friends. Inuyasha had to smile internally. He had discovered her eyes glowed more brightly when she was angry. Suddenly, he felt the weight of her purse crashing on his head. The girl had hit him!

"Oi, Wench! What was that for?" he said rubbing his ears. The girl had guts. He had to give her that, no normal human girl would ever hit a hanyou like that. 

"For being an arrogant jerk!" she replied angrily. 

Yes, she definitively looked beautiful when she was angry. It was a bit scary when she was mad at him, however. Not that her anger would stop him or anything. 

"Where are we going, anyway?" he inquired, looking around. 

"You'll see." She said, a glint of mischief in her tone. 

~*~*~ _Jump in the time sequence_ ~*~*~

_Candles and more candles. _

_The room, because it_ had _to be a room, was of an indescribable size. She tried to look around and see the walls, but there were none. She could only look at the wooden ceiling and the black marble floor. An infinite number of wooden tables of all shapes and sizes were placed all around… but what really caught her attention were the candles. The sea of candles surrounded her. They were everywhere: on the tables, on the floor, and hanging from a lonely lamp that was placed just above her. The only lamp she could see. The only lamp that could show her there _was_ a ceiling. Otherwise she would have thought it an endless sea of candles over a marble floor. The candles seemed to be of an infinite number. So many candles like she had never seen together. They were all white, but they came in different sizes, and thickness.  A glow seemed to engulf the whole room… and her. The almost mystic glow of the candles created an imaginary mist of light where everywhere else was dark._

_A sudden flash of light to her right caught her attention and she whirled around to see one of the tallest candles spark one, two, three times and then, the fire was extinguished. There was no smoke. No nothing. She reached tentatively and took the candle in her own hands. It looked brand new. There were no traces of… anything in it. Feeling a little disappointed she moved the tip of the candle towards another that was already lit._

_"You are wasting your time. That candle will never burn again," said a high-pitched voice from her left. She jumped in bewilderment._

_Standing a few meters away was a small bald man dressed in monkish robes and carrying a wooden box in his right hand. His eyes shined with a glint of mirth. _

_"Go on, carry on, you'll never lit it again." He repeated. She returned her gaze to the candle in her hand and did as she was told. The tip of the candle touched the flames of the other candle but nothing happened. There were no traces of fire in the candle. _

_"Why?" she asked quietly. _

_"Because it has no purpose anymore." He replied curtly, taking the candle from her hand and placing it inside the box. She could see the box was full of candles just like the one she had held. "One candle can only burn when it has a purpose. Its fire transforms things around it. Change is necessary. The purpose of all candles is to mutate their environment." He explained, caressing his dwarf-like blond beard._

_"I don't understand." she said earnestly._

_"Of course you don't. How could you? You are a mere mortal." He replied, shrugging and walking off. _

_She hurried after him, "What are you?" _

_"Who." He corrected her, "Who am I" he raised an eyebrow in her direction. "My name is Morkeleb, the keeper of the candles of life" said he. _

_She decided to introduce herself at this point, "My name is K-" _

_"I already know who you are." He cut in furrowing his thick eyebrows. "You have given me enough trouble to last a lifetime!" _

~*~*~ _Jump in the time sequence_ ~*~*~

_This was definitively it_, thought Inuyasha in excitement. It had to be the most miraculous, the greatest, the most special and the most amazing moment of his life… he never knew it was possible to feel this way. He never thought he would be doing something like this so soon… let alone doing _this_ with Kagome. He had died surely; there could be nothing more pleasurable than this… _oh Kami_… he thought. 

"Do you like it?" she asked shyly. Was she ever so cute? He loved it! It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life…

"It's…" he gasped. Unable to find the words to describe what he felt. 

He leaped forward, his hand reaching for the seductive even silky texture, caressing it.

"I thought you might like it," she admitted guiltily "but I never thought it could be so big! It has grown!" Kagome said surprised.

"What is this… how is it called?"

"Virgin?" she suggested.

"Gods! It's the biggest record store I've ever been to." He whispered aloud. His hands were still grasping the smooth CD case. 

"Yes, it's an amazing place. The only problem is I never have enough money to buy the CDs I want." Kagome admitted, wrinkling her nose. 

The two friends had entered the store and were now roaming through the contents. CDs, DVDs, music books, it was heaven to any music-addict. Kagome jumped from here to there as Inuyasha roamed through some specific merchandise, looking at his companion now and then. 

He felt mesmerized by the way she smiled as she held a CD in her hand, putting it down with a sigh and then smiling at yet another case. He checked the prize of the 'Dream Theater' disc he held in his hand. He could afford this. Inuyasha looked back at Kagome and found he was not the only one staring at her. There was another man looking appreciatively at her. _How dare he?_ Thought Inuyasha feeling a pang of jealousy spreading through his body. 

* * *

"Higurashi!" said a familiar voice. Kagome looked up to see…

'Oh boy' she though, "Hi Houjo!" She said aloud. 

"How are you?" Said the boy. "It's such a coincidence to find you here…" her classmate smiled sweetly. Kagome smiled back, but meaning it just partially. Sure, he was a sweet guy, but there was something about him she felt odd. Like there was something to him most people didn't see from his façade. Also, Kouga usually got jealous when Houjo was around, thus making her life very awkward. Not something she enjoyed. She subconsciously related the smiling guy to uncomfortable bickering with Kouga about the extensions of his duties as Kagome's boyfriend. 

"Yes, it's quite… a coincidence," she answered brilliantly. 

"Look, I'm going to go soon, would you like to come with me to a pub and have a drink?" he asked, his smile had not been altered.

"At 3.00 in the afternoon?" she replied.

"No, later in the night. Right now we can come to my apartment!" He explained triumphantly. Kagome sweat-dropped. "Oh, no, you would not be alone! Virginia is coming with us too! We'll meet her on our way!" he added. Still smiling. 

Virginia was also a classmate, a Spanish classmate with a very strong accent. Such strong accent that made it very difficult to understand her. She was however, very friendly. There was no soul in college that didn't know her. Walking beside her was like walking side by side with a beauty queen on a festival. It was all smiles and 'hi' and 'how are you?' to every soul she met. No wonder she was a friend of Houjo too. 

"Aheam," she heard a voice clearing his throat. "Is there anything wrong, Kagome?" Said Inuyasha, stepping in. 

"No, nothing." She replied. "Houjo, this is Inuyasha, he's a friend of the family. Inuyasha, this is Houjo, a classmate," she made the introductions, "Look Houjo, I would love to go out, but I promised Inuyasha I would show him around the city, he's new here." She explained, happy, for once, to have an excuse to avoid the invitation. 

That was before she realized Houjo was giving Inuyasha a look full of suspiciousness. She slapped herself mentally. Yup, she had done it this time. '_Open mouth. Insert foot_.' Now everyone would think she was two-timing!

Of course she had planned introducing Inuyasha to everyone. After she told Kouga about her new friend, which would be after she stopped that fluttering feeling on the pit of her stomach every time he said her name. But this meeting, and the way Houjo was looking at them promised to become a wild rumor that could ruin her reputation. _'Someone please kill me.'_

_~*~*~ Jump in the time sequence ~*~*~_

They were sitting in wooden chairs in front of a large wooden table. There were several candles, placed side by side in line over the table. She had now noticed they didn't burn in a normal pattern. Some burned faster than others. If it could be called 'burn' to what the candles did. A normal candle would burn from the top to their base. These candles burned from the base to the top.  

First there would be a spark and they would light, like one of those tricky birthday candles in children's birthdays. The ones that light after you've blown them.  Then they had reached the top height they would spark and die. Like they had never been lit, no traces of fire. 

_She had also learned that they all 'died' at a certain height. No candle would stop before or after reaching said height. Morkeleb had told her it was the healthy way. It was what they were supposed to accomplish. _

_Even now, he sat across from her. Studying her expression, like figuring what to do with her. She shook the thought from her head for a moment. Finding it easier to focus her thoughts on the candles. _

_"I don't understand." She said finally. _

_"What don't you understand?" he replied._

_"The candles. I don't understand them. Why do they burn upwards? Why are some faster than others? Why do they all burn to the same height?"_

_"Which question do you want me to answer first?" _

_"The first… no, the second… wait… yes, the second." She said hesitantly. She bit her lower lip._

_Morkeleb smirked at her confusion, "The purpose of the candles is different.  The purpose is managed in different intervals of time. Thus the velocity difference."_

_"And the height?" she asked, unable to restrain herself. He would give her the answers anyway._

_"You should know that one. It is an easy one." He said. His eyes shining with its characteristic mirth.  _

_"Um… they all reach their purpose. They all fulfill their tasks." She guessed._

_"Bravo!" Morkeleb clapped his hands mockingly. _

_"It is obvious this is some kind of illusion," she said mostly to herself. He decided to explain this next._

_"Your simple mortal brain could not take the real form of this space, that is why it takes the most logic simile. The most clichéd simile, may I add, and tries to explain the input of information in a sensorial way."_

_The thought of all that was unnerving. "Why do they burn upwards?" she chose to ask._

_"Because time does not go in the way you humans think. Not even demons have figured it out. You mortals conceive the most stupid concepts like 'tabula rasa' 'lineal time' and 'free will' when it is most illogical. Why, it is clear enough that if time was something that evolved from the past like 'past then future' then there would not be a clear purpose to upcoming candles! Imagine a world without a clear purpose! What a mess it would be! Future needs to exist first for there to be a purpose." He shook his head. "Time is not really linear. All things happen more or less at the same time, but the end has already been defined. It is too complicated to explain such a thing as that to mortals. There are terms you are not able to comprehend. What you do need to understand is that life goes 'future then past'. The purpose of all past things is to fulfill the future."_

_~*~*~ Jump in the time sequence ~*~*~_

Inuyasha grabbed Kagome by the arm and felt her tense. Who was this hobo guy? She suddenly smelled like… like she was afraid. He released his grasp when he realized the small movement he had made to comfort her was in fact making her fears increase. 

"Well, I was leaving anyway," said the boy. "Nice meeting you." He said to Inuyasha but it was quite clear that he didn't mean it. "See you Kagome!"

"Bye" she replied. Quietly. Very quietly. Inuyasha doubted the other guy had heard. They saw him leave the store. She whirled around. "We should leave too, you know? There's another place I would like to show you." She said with a half smile. It was a fake smile. 

"Fine." 

They walked towards the entrance of the store and then to the underground. He wanted to ask why was she scared. He wanted to ask her what had happened. Was that guy threatening her or something? A low growl escaped his throat. She eyed him suspiciously, but said nothing. 

Inuyasha found himself thinking things that had not occurred to him before. This girl. This girl he felt so attracted to had a life here. She had friends… and maybe a boyfriend. He winced at the thought. It was impossible. She had free time enough to spend a whole afternoon with him, if she had a boyfriend, she would not have the time to do so… and besides her smell was her own. Of course, you could perceive the faint smell of her family on her but there was no other male. At least not that he perceived.  He wanted to ask. He would ask. 'Do you have a boyfriend here?' that was what he would ask. "Wench, where the hell are you taking me?" were the words that left his mouth instead. 

She looked at him sternly. "I am taking you to the British museum, and the name is Kagome, it's not that hard to remember, is it?"

_~*~*~ Jump in the time sequence ~*~*~_

_"This is your candle," Said Morkeleb. She looked at the candle of her life. Something was odd about it. There was smoke coming out of the tip. It was too short, also. _

_"It is wrong." She stated._

_"Indeed." He answered. Pause. "You were supposed to keep on living, you took your life too soon. The candle still has some life in it. It wishes to burn. It has not accomplished its purpose."_

_"Is that why I am the only soul here?" she asked and he nodded, "What will happen now?"_

_"Your life is too important. You will have to go back. Fulfill your purpose."_

_"No! I can't! I can't go back!" she cried, shaking her head furiously. Tears of desperation were forming at the edge of her eyes. _

_"You have to and you will. Look at me, child! There is no other way."_

_"I don't want to go back. It hurts too much. I am useless! I can't do anything right back there… I bring shame to my family. Please… there have to be another way!"_

_"You have been here for a week after your death. You have learned about the candles. You know about the purpose of life. All I can ask you is to tell me how to do this less painful. You need to fulfill your purpose." He said sternly. _

_"Can I fulfill it without encountering the people I know?"_

_"Alas! That is impossible, child. You know that purpose is to move those around you. There are no coincidences in life. I cannot do that."_

_"Let me stay here. I do not wish to go." She pleaded once more._

_"Evil is stirring. You are a needed key to stop it."_

_"Then… I will go. But I will go just when I'm needed to be there. Just for what is necessary. I don't want to remain there more time than what I will."_

_"Very well then, that I can offer you."_

_"And I need to know what will my duty be. Why am I that needed back there… I thought no one would miss me…"_

_"I will tell you in a way your mortal brain can understand. There will be -or was, in the way you mortals measure time- a very powerful Miko called Midoriku. She will have a power to make great good. Her soul has to be very strong in order to do that. You are the bearer of that soul, at least partly. There is another… together, your souls will equal to that of Midoriku. In order to make your souls gain strength you will have to face a great evil and to conquer it all. It was designed to be so… but now… with your death you have altered everything! All the plans! Evil will still surface but there are things your death has changed and the candles have adjusted to your absence, but they will not be able to conquer without you. One single grain of rice can tip the scale. We no longer know what the outcome may be."_

_"What do you mean?" she said, moving her hand to her mouth and her eyes opening with realization._

"You have altered all our plans. We don't know how you managed to die but you should have not done so. We had a strict plan of what would happen… There have been changes we did not think there would be. We cannot mend them. We are sending you back, Kikyou, as our last hope that maybe it will restore the plans, but too much has the world mutated with your disappearance. The future, which was certain is fading, changing from our original plans and becoming uncertain. There should not be "free will" and yet you are here defying all our plans! Do you have any idea of what your death has done? Now not only do we have to construct past but future as well! The spirit world is been such a mess lately…"

_"Can't you undo my death, then?"_

_"No."_

_"I will go."_

_~*~*~ Jump in the time sequence ~*~*~_

They wandered through the corridors, looking at the objects. First, they had gone to the "Egypt" exhibition, and then gone to the Celtic one. Inuyasha had a fascination for swords and thus they spent most of their tour comparing different swords from different times and places. 

They walked around chatting about random topics and looking at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. They were happy then. They walked without really paying attention to anyone else. Without listening anything but the other's voice. Without feeling anything but completeness… and without noticing the undead girl that followed them. Watched them from afar. She gripped one of the walls at the entrance of the room. She clutched the wall so tight her knuckles were white. A tear made its way down her face. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

**A/N:** sort of a crappy chapter, I'm sorry for that! I felt like Matrix with all that "purpose" lol… anyways, review if you are so kind! Constructive criticism is highly appreciated. Death threats are tolerated and random comments are cherished! Thank you all for your patience!


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